This Is How I Know I'm Nothing

Today I went to target, to return some shitty (yes, I said shitty, I can say whatever I want on MY blog) jackets I got for Christmas that I've been wanting to return since I saw them.. Tanya was going to target to get Katrina and Trent new shoes, so I thought that would be the perfect time to finally return them since the last time I tried their computers were down at all the target stores North America.. Of course Tanya doesn't even think that I would need new shoes too (I don't like target shoes anyway), I would just like to be asked if I needed any.. I haven't gotten shoes in months, but of course, I don't matter. After they got their shoes, and I returned the jackets, Tanya said she has 13 dollars of change and asked if we'd want to go get some french fries. I screamed yes since I hadn't eaten since 11 A.M. and it was now 6 P.M. They all looked at me and I said quietly 'I mean, yeah sure..' when she pulled up to the drive-thru she ordered 3 small french fries and 3 cheeseburgers, one with nothing on it.. I first thought that was a little odd, and wondered if two of those cheeseburgers were for Katrina and Trent.. I thought we were all just getting fries..? We pulled up to pay the seven dollars or so, and Tanya gets 6 one-dollar-bills back and some change and hands me two one-dollar-bills and 40 cents, and Katrina four dollars.. First off, I have to ride the bus to school and back tomorrow. That will cost two dollars alone since I only have dollar bills and they don't break change.. Katrina has no bus fees.. She goes to high school.. I leave home at 9 in the morning, and don't usually get home until 8 or 9 at night, and we have nothing for me to take to school for lunch because I'm a vegetarian and all my food has to be frozen and microwaved, so I can't bring that for lunch at school.. What I don't get is why she gives Katrina more money than me, let alone money at all! When I went to that high school she made me eat the cafeteria food, but of course Katrina, the perfect daughter (who lies all the time about everything but never gets caught by anyone besides me) gets to have meals that aren't total shit because she says she doesn't like the cafeteria food and she stays after for cheer practice or a football/basketball game. All of this ran through my mind before we got to the next window where we get our food. Once we got the food, Tanya started handing out their cheeseburgers, then the small fries.. so Trent and Katrina each got a cheeseburger and a small fry, and I get just a small fry..nothing else. She couldn't get me medium sized fries so I could actually get full from it and not be hungry again by the time we got home, or get me a drink, I just got the small french fries.. Then they wonder the entire way home why I look upset and haven't had a single bit of my food.. Hmm.. Maybe if these kinds of things didn't happen to me every single day with each and everyone one of them, I wouldn't let it get to me as much..